Marriage & Family Therapy

Happiness is Possible!

Licensed therapist offering couples therapy, trauma-informed care, and individual counseling in English and Mandarin.

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My Specialties

Helping you navigate life's challenges with compassion and expertise

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Relationship counseling and couples therapy icon

Relationship Issues

Do you find yourself struggling to communicate with your partner and tired from arguing over the same things repeatedly? This dance that you and your partner got caught up in took over your relationship and left you both feeling frustrated, misunderstood, disconnected, resentful, unloved and alone in the relationship.

Based on Attachment Science, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) explains that we human beings are wired for connections. We all have the longing to be seen, to be heard, and to be accepted. We have the desire that when we reach for our significant others, they will be there to answer us. When we sense emotional disconnection in our relationships, it causes distress and panic in us. These emotional distress are seen as signals that help to orient us, understand our needs, and navigate our relationships.

Let me show you a different way of responding to and engaging with your emotions in such a way that pulls your partner closer to you and helps you both turn towards each other in a caring and supportive way. Let me show you how to cultivate and maintain a safe, secure connection with your partner.

Complex Trauma

What is complex trauma? Complex trauma refers to exposure to repeated or prolonged traumatic events, usually of interpersonal nature, that typically occur in early life and have long-term effects on a person's development, identity and relationships.

Untreated complex trauma makes one prone to the following:

Emotional: Prone to anxiety, depression, emotional dysregulation, numbing

Cognitive: Difficulty concentrating, memory issues, negative sense of self, others and the future

Physical: Somatic symptoms (fatigue, headache, GI issues)

Relational: Social isolation, dissatisfying relationships

Behavioral: Avoidance behaviors, substance use, dissociation, self-harm, suicidal ideation

When one or both partners are survivors of complex trauma, they face an extra layer of challenges in how they manage uncertainty, conflict, and disappointment in their relationship. The way one partner expresses his/her emotions, vulnerability and attachment-related needs can easily trigger the other partner's sense of threat and danger, which in turn impact the conclusion the reaching partner makes about their partner, themselves and their relationship.

Let me help you to process and make sense of your experience and struggles through the lens of attachment and trauma and support you in finding your footing in this overwhelmingly unsettling reality.

Internal Family Systems fragmentation icon

Fragmentation of Internal System

Do you find yourself struggling to have inner peace? A part of you want to do things differently, yet another part of you is fearful of change? Or you just couldn't get those difficult memories and negative beliefs about yourself off your mind, maybe even reliving those emotions and bodily sensation connected to those incidents?

The Internal Family Systems (IFS) sees the human psyche as naturally multiple, "parts", each with their own perspective, emotions, and roles. On the surface some parts may take opposing approaches, yet they all have positive intentions to protect and survive difficult/traumatizing experiences. IFS believes that at our core, we have the natural, powerful capacity to heal that is called "Self" or "Self-energy". Let me show you the path to restoration of balance and inner harmony that sets you free.

Legacy Burdens

What are legacy burdens? In Internal Family Systems (IFS), these are inherited emotional pain, beliefs or behavioral patterns that a person has inherited from their family, culture or ancestors.

Legacy burdens are passed down through generations, often unconsciously. Some examples of legacy burdens are shame, fear, gender roles, guilt, trauma from war, dissonance, hopelessness etc.

Emotional/Affect Dysregulation

In Polyvagal Theory, complex trauma often from prolonged, repeated interpersonal or relational trauma disrupts a person's ability to feel safe and regulate their nervous system. Untreated complex trauma left trauma survivors often stuck in either hyperarousal "sympathetic" or hypoarousal "dorsal" states. Their nervous systems are constantly scanning for danger even when no immediate threat exists. In complex trauma, the brain and body may misread neutral or even safe cues as dangerous, keeping the person in defensive states and making it hard for the body to rest and regenerate "ventral". Consequently, making being present, open, connecting and engaging with others in a non-reactive way almost impossible.

Together, we can learn how your autonomic nervous system responds to stress or signs of danger, explore and practice various somatic interventions to support you in regulating your nervous system and finding your way to calm and wellness.

About Me

Gaik Kee "Grace" Khoo

Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

I am Gaik Kee "Grace" Khoo, a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) located in Fremont, CA. I have over 12 years of licensed clinical experience in helping individuals and couples on their path to emotional well-being as well as meaningful and satisfying relationships.

I specialize in working with relationship challenges, complex trauma/relational trauma, negative sense of self, family and cultural burdens, and affect/emotional dysregulation, with a particular focus on clients from Asian cultural backgrounds. Drawing from my own lived experience navigating the complications living in both eastern and western cultures, I bring a deep understanding and compassion for my bicultural clients in searching for inner peace while juggling both cultures' blessings and burdens.

I provide individual and couples therapy in English and Mandarin.

I am a certified Clinical Trauma Professional (by Evergreen) with a unique blend of trainings in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFIT level 1 certified), Internal Family Systems (IFS informed), Polyvagal Theory informed, and TEAM-CBT (level 2 certified).

I believe in showing up with curiosity and openness, connecting with my clients authentically, and making therapy sessions a safe space to track, order, make sense of your struggles, and evoke change.

Email Me 510-766-1660

Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation

Contact Me

Where to find us?

Simply Empowering Marriage and Family Counseling, A Professional Corporation

Phone

510-766-1660

Fax

510.224.2274

[email protected]

Business Hours

By Appointment Only

Address

39210 State Street, Suite 200
Fremont, CA 94538

How can therapy help me?

There are a number of benefits you may receive from participating in counseling. Below are some of the benefits including but not limited to:

Attaining a better understanding of yourself, your goals and values.
Developing skills for improving your relationships.
Finding resolution to the issues or concerns that led you to seek therapy.
Learning new ways to cope with stress and anxiety.
Better managing anger, grief, depression and other emotional pressures.
Improving communications and listening skills.
Changing old behavior patterns and developing new ones.
Discovering new ways to solve problems in your family or marriage.
Improving your self-esteem and boosting self confidence.

The benefits you obtain from counseling depend on how well you use the process and put into practice what you learned.

How much do you charge for counseling services?

The fee for the initial intake (80 mins) is USD280. The fee for the regular session (45-50 mins) is USD230. Payment is due in the beginning of each session.

Do you offer a sliding scale?

Yes. Sliding scale is available depending on the client's income level. Your therapist will discuss this with you during the pre-screening process.

Do you take insurance?

I am an out-of-network provider. If you have out-of-network mental health benefits that cover the counseling work that we do together, I can provide a monthly summary receipt which you can submit to your insurance company to request for partial reimbursement.

What is your cancellation policy for scheduled session?

A 48-hour advance notice is required to cancel a scheduled session without any penalty. If cancellation is within 48-hour of the scheduled session, you will be charged a full regular session fee.

Does what we talked about in therapy remain confidential?

Confidentiality is one of the most important component between a client and therapist. Successful therapy requires a high degree of trust with highly sensitive subject matter that is usually not discussed anywhere but the therapist's office. You can expect that what you discussed in session will not be shared with anyone. Sometimes, however, you may want your therapist to share information with someone on your health care team, but by law your therapist cannot release this information without obtaining your written permission. State law and professional ethics require therapist to maintain confidentiality except for the following situation:

To report suspected past or present abuse or neglect of children, dependent adult and elders to the authorities, including child protection and law enforcement, based on information provided by the client or collateral services.
When a client presents a danger to self, to others, to property, or is gravely disabled.

What is therapy like?

Because each person has different issues and goals for therapy, therapy will be different depending on the individual. In general, you can expect to discuss the current events happening in your life, your personal history relevant to your issue, and report progress or any new insights gained from the previous therapy session. Depending on your specific needs, therapy can be short-term, for a specific issue, or longer-term, to deal with more difficult patterns or your desire for more personal development. Either way, it is most common to schedule regular sessions with your therapist (usually weekly). It is important to understand that you will get more results from therapy if you actively participate in the process. The ultimate purpose of therapy is to help you bring what you learned in session back into your life. Therefore, beyond the work you do in therapy sessions, your therapist may suggest some things you can do outside of therapy to support your process. People seeking psychotherapy are ready to make positive changes in their lives, are open to new perspectives and take responsibility for their lives.

Why do people go to therapy and how do I know if it is right for me?

People have many different motivations for coming to counseling. Some maybe going through a major life transition (unemployment, divorce etc) or are not handling stressful circumstances well. Some people need assistance managing a range of other issues such as low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and relationship problems. Therapy can help to provide some much needed encouragement and help with skills to get them through these periods. Others may be at a point where they are ready to learn more about themselves or want to be more effective with their goals in life. In short, people seeking counseling are ready to meet the challenges in their lives and ready to make changes in their lives.