Do you find yourself struggling to communicate with your partner and tired from arguing over the same things repeatedly? This dance that you and your partner got caught up in took over your relationship and left you both feeling frustrated, misunderstood, disconnected, resentful, unloved and alone in the relationship.

Based in Attachment Sciences, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) explains that we human beings are wired for connections. We all have the longing to be seen, to be heard, and to be accepted. We have the desire that when we reach for our significant others, they will be there to answer us. When we sense emotional disconnection in our relationships, it causes distress and panic in us. These emotional distress are seen as signals that help to orient us, understand our needs, and navigate our relationships.

Let me show you a different way of responding to and engaging with your emotions in such a way that pulls your partner closer to you and helps you both turn towards each other in a caring and supportive way. Let me show you how to cultivate and maintain a safe, secure connection with your partner.

You can check out the intimate relationship wellness questionnaire to figure out the wellness of your relationship.

What is complex trauma? Complex trauma refers to exposure to repeated or prolonged traumatic events, usually of interpersonal nature, that typically occur in early life and have long-term effects on a person's development, identity and relationships.

Untreated complex trauma makes one prone to the following:

Emotional: Prone to anxiety, depression, emotional dysregulation, numbing

Cognitive: Difficulty concentrating, memory issues, negative sense of self, others and the future

Physical: Somatic symptoms (fatigue, headache, GI issues)

Relational: Social isolation, dissatisfying relationships

Behavioral: Avoidance behaviors, substance use, dissociation, self-harm, suicidal ideation

When one or both partners are survivors of complex trauma, they face an extra layer of challenges in how they manage uncertainty, conflict, and disappointment in their relationship. The way one partner expresses his/her emotions, vulnerability and attachment-related needs can easily trigger the other partner's sense of threat and danger, which in turn impact the conclusion the reaching partner makes about their partner, themselves and their relationship.

Let me help you to process and make sense of your experience and struggles through the lens of attachment and trauma and support you in finding your footing in this overwhelmingly unsettling reality.

Do you find yourself struggling to have inner peace? A part of you want to do things differently, yet another part of you is fearful of change? Or you just couldn't get those difficult memories and negative beliefs about yourself off your mind, maybe even reliving those emotions and bodily sensation connected to those incidents?

The Internal Family Systems (IFS) sees the human psyche as naturally multiple, "parts", each with their own perspective, emotions, and roles. On the surface some parts may take opposing approaches, yet they all have positive intentions to protect and survive difficult/traumatizing experiences. IFS believes that at our core, we have the natural, powerful capacity to heal that is called "Self" or "Self-energy". Let me show you the path to restoration of balance and inner harmony that sets you free.

What are legacy burdens? In Internal Family Systems (IFS), these are inherited emotional pain, beliefs or behavioral patterns that a person has inherited from their family, culture or ancestors.

Legacy burdens are passed down through generations, often unconsciously. Some examples of legacy burdens are shame, fear, gender roles, guilt, trauma from war, dissonance, hopelessness etc.

In Polyvagal Theory, complex trauma often from prolonged, repeated interpersonal or relational trauma disrupts a person's ability to feel safe and regulate their nervous system. Untreated complex trauma left trauma survivors often stuck in either hyperarousal "sympathetic" or hypoarousal "dorsal" states. Their nervous systems are constantly scanning for danger even when no immediate threat exists. In complex trauma, the brain and body may misread neutral or even safe cues as dangerous, keeping the person in defensive states and making it hard for the body to rest and regenerate "ventral". Consequently, making being present, open, connecting and engaging with others in a non-reactive way almost impossible.

Together, we can learn how your autonomic nervous system responds to stress or signs of danger, explore and practice various somatic interventions to support you in regulating your nervous system and finding your way to calm and wellness.